This journal brought to you because I am up awake with nothing else to do at the moment! I'm having some symptoms from the chemo and it's making it difficult to sleep, so I decided to send out some notes and make a journal.

So if you get a random-ass note or text from me, that's why. Also, if I talk to you while I'm on drugs, and then later don't remember it? It's probably because I WAS ON DRUGS. But it's ok, because I have an excuse to be in a medicated stupor. O:

Just don't hold it against me if I said something and then don't remember it. XD Some of this stuff is strong and will knock an elephant on its ass.

I should probably take an Ambien and shut up. But I don't wanna! I want to type. And brush my teeth again. And maybe do an online puzzle.

Did you know that puzzles are an awesome way to distract yourself from wanting to throw up? I had to drink this disgusting contrast stuff to get a scan done, and I wanted to horf it, but instead I did a puzzle on the table in the waiting room and drove the people around me insane with my inability to do a freaking puzzle. They all just stared at me making frustrated little gestures toward pieces that I was staring blankly at. /random story for no reason

Ok, I'll stop clogging dA with a random journal and will try to sleep. I think. Maybe. We'll see.

I'm off for my "vacation" this week to get started with treatment and stuff, so I'll be MIA for a week. Available by phone or text, though!

I'm doing a lot better, simplifying my life and letting go of some people that only carried negativity and drama.

Life is good.

I debated about posting something here, but I've found that I have to answer a lot of the same questions, and that it might just be best to get it over with and post a journal.

Some people know already, some don't, and this will probably be the only time I post about it on dA since most of my real life I keep to more private avenues like Livejournal.

I have cancer.

Ooooh, the C word! Oh noes!

I posted before about my surgery that I had about a week and a half ago, where they removed my infected appendix as well as a necrotic ovary and tumor. Well, the tumor turned out to be cancer. Something called a desmoplastic small round cell tumor.

I'm being referred to an oncologist to start chemotherapy and radiation, and am in the process of being referred to a specialized cancer hospital for treatment.

The tumor has been surgically removed, and there is a good chance, with chemo and radiation, that I can beat this, so no Negative Nancies, all right? Everything is going to be just fine.

If you have questions, that's fine. I'll try to answer them. A lot is up in the air right now while medical and financial decisions are being worked out, so I can't promise I can answer everything!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled deviance.

PS- A thank you to my friends that have known about this since my diagnosis and have been supportive. You guys have meant a lot to me, and I appreciate it more than I can say.

Everyone knows how much I love Kill Hannah. Well, most people know, anyhow. Not everyone knows of my personal attachments outside of the music, but suffice to say that Mat Devine and Kill Hannah are important to me.

The new album is released on September 29th, and I invite everyone to please check it out and buy a copy. I got an early release from a little birdy last night, and I have to say it is everything I hoped it would be.

[link]

Well, yeah... It sorta got posted prematurely, and it was sweet of Vex to do that, but I'm more private about things like this.

I didn't have to have a hysterectomy after all, it turns out I had a tumor/cyst that ruptured not only itself, but my ovary as well, bled into my stomach, infected my appendix, and all kinds of other fun stuff. So the bad stuff is gone, and I still have my ability to breed. LOL

It's going to take some time to recover, but luckily the jobs I have are desk jobs that I can do from home so that's what I'll be doing. Thanks everyone for your well wishes and your concern.

The mood thingy won't change, LOL, but it was gonna be "content" or something.